Jason Bateman almost had his nose bitten off by a chimpanzee! Also, he hosted “Saturday Night Live” last night. According to the “Ozark” star’s opening monologue, the incident with the chimpanzee occured during his last appearance as host, almost 15 years ago. “Something kinda weird happened last time I hosted,” joked Bateman. “I was in a sketch called ‘Monkeys Throwing Poop at Celebrities’ which naturally had a monkey in it. Now if the show did that sketch today, they would use a puppet or a kid dressed as a monkey for safety. But back then they used a real, adult, male, chimpanzee. This was 2005. Things were loose.”
Bateman then explained that during the closing credits, he bent down to “say good job to the monkey” at which point the chimp “unhinged his jaw, flashed his teeth, and tried to bite my entire nose off.” To prove he wasn’t making this story up for laughs, Bateman played a clip which indeed showed him and the chimp having a peculiar interaction. Peculiar because Bateman is laughing and, from our angle, the embrace looks pretty innocent. But Rachel Dratch’s face makes clear what the audience can’t see: The chimp was definitely gunning for Bateman’s nose.
“It was a connection between man and nature that I will never, ever forget,” said Bateman. He then deadpanned, “The monkey was destroyed later that night. It was my choice. Lessons have to be learned.” All in all it was a funny story made better by Jason Bateman’s low key and matter-of-fact style.
“If he was here with us tonight to see me host 15 years later,” Bateman said with the sincere intonation of a son speaking about a beloved relative. “He would probably, well, he would probably rip my nuts off.”
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