There was a giant Bumble billboard on Houston Street in New York City this fall that said something along the lines of “this is the most important cuffing season of your life.” The pandemic winter was coming, and end-of-summer dating was like doomsday prep before we all hunkered down for the cold months of isolation.
Was that ad terribly dramatic? Yes. You’re doing just fine. Spring is only a few (six, thanks to Phil the Groundhog) weeks away now. But as Valentine’s Day rolls around, just in case you need it, here are a few Anti-Valentine’s day movie suggestions. So you can stop watching Instagram stories of people expressing their gratefulness for their significant other now. You don’t need that. What you need is a feel-good movie. That’s what you came here for, so let’s do that. Here are 15 suggestions.
The Lobster
A bizarre dark comedy about a society in which singles are placed in a hotel and have 45 days to find a romantic partner or otherwise be turned into an animal of their choosing. Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz’s romance, if you can call it that, will leave you terribly unsettled about love.
Amazon Hulu
John Tucker Must Die
A true 2000s classic, no Anti-Valentine’s list would be complete without it. In John Tucker Must Die, three ex-girlfriends of a serial cheater orchestrate a plot to take down John by enlisting a new girl to break his heart.
Amazon iTunes
Promising Young Woman
A sharp, shocking drama, Carey Mulligan shines as Cassie, who lives a double life at night punishing men in memory of her late friend Nina. With an all-star cast including Bo Burnham and Max Greenfield, this new, Golden Globe-nominated film is a must-watch.
Amazon
The Love Witch
The Love Witch is both a comedy and horror film about a modern-day witch who uses potions to ensnare and then off men when they fail to satisfy her. The 2016 film starring the mesmerizing Samantha Robinson is a witchy, feminist, slightly horrifying two hour journey, and there’s nothing like a murderous seductress to turn you off from love.
Amazon
Gone Girl
David Fincher’s 2014 adaptation of Gillian Flynn’s book, Gone Girl, is a psychological thriller that depicts the aftermath of Nick (Ben Affleck)’s life after his wife Amy (Rosamund Pike) goes missing, and the image of their perfect life and marriage crumbles in the public eye.
Hulu iTunes
500 Days of Summer
500 Days of Summer is a tried and true, if fundamentally flawed, breakup film. It’s angsty and artsy in a film-school-graduate way, but also entertaining and wise, plus there’s a Hall & Oates dance number. But most importantly, if you’re feeling down, there is the lesson that there is always a light on the other end of a heartbreak.
Amazon Hulu
Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde is Reese Witherspoon’s tour de force as Elle Woods, a California blonde who makes it her mission to attend Harvard Law School as a fuck you to her ex-boyfriend. Plus, only a monster can be sad while Jennifer Coolidge is bending and snapping. (There is also Legally Blonde 2, and the Broadway musical is really fantastic and on YouTube, too, if you’re feeling like a marathon).
Amazon iTunes
Under the Tuscan Sun
Under the Tuscan Sun is a perfect divorce movie, in which Frances (Diane Lane) embarks on a whirlwind trip-turned-permanent move to Tuscany to start fresh after she learns her husband is cheating on her. It’s technically a rom-com, but there’s no way to leave this movie feeling bad about being alone.
Amazon iTunes
First Wives Club
A 1996 feminist revenge film, First Wives Club brings together Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton as reunited college friends with a vengeance for their ex-husbands.
Amazon Hulu
Fatal Attraction
Fatal Attraction is a 1987 psychological thriller about an affair gone wrong. Alex Forrest (Glenn Close) becomes an obsessive stalker after Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) cheats on his wife with her.
Amazon iTunes
Kill Me Three Times
This 2014 black comedy-thriller is about a marriage gone so wrong that it ends in a mess of multiple murder-for-hire plots, if you’re in the mood for some bloody revenge.
Amazon iTunes
My Best Friend’s Wedding
This classic tells the tale of a marriage pact gone wrong for childhood best friends Julianne Potter (Julia Roberts) and Michael O’Neal (Dermot Mulroney). The perfect movie if you need a reminder that you’re crème brûlée and not Jell-O, and that’s okay.
Netflix Amazon
Chicago
Black comedy crime musical Chicago starring Renée Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Richard Gere, celebrates 1920s jazz as well as murdering your husband, which is all on theme for a Valentine’s Day evening by yourself.
Amazon iTunes
She’s Gotta Have It
Spike Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It is a 1986 dramedy about the carefree Nola Darling (Tracy Camilla Johns), who isn’t particularly interested in choosing just one of her three lovers. A classic that celebrates female sexual liberation is a perfect way to spend an evening solo.
Netflix
Get Out
Jordan Peele’s 2017 horror film about a couple (played by Daniel Kaluuya and Allison Williams) who go upstate to meet the girlfriend’s parents for the first time is a modern masterpiece.
Amazon
Lauren Kranc
Lauren Kranc is an editorial assistant at Esquire, where she covers pop culture and television, with entirely too narrow of an expertise on Netflix dating shows.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
